First Class with Instructor

Just finished the first class with the regular instructor, Arnold Tayam, Doctor of Medical Qigong. He has a website for his Longevity Center (see links).

Came away with two experiences from the class. One was a statement that Dr. Tayam said during the introduction--all healing is self-healing, and all healing involves spiritual work.

He also reviewed basic cleansing, gathering, circulating, creating, and locking exercises, plus he added the Five Treasures--Ocean Wave, Draw up the Earth, Starlight Gathering, Opening the Heart, and Draw Down from Heaven (the last with slightly different hand attitudes).

I went into the class feeling somewhat funky--sort of irritable and anxious. I'm now feeling very grounded, very still. One more step on the path of many steps.

Buddha and Qi

Tonight I went to a talk by Dzigar Kongtrul, former professor of Buddhist Philosophy. He was introducing his book, It's Up to You. His talk centered on how in meditation it is possible to recognize subtle habits that don't help keep the mind clear--how to transform those habits into ones that enhance aliveness and well-being.

I experienced two instances of Qi energy during the evening. One was a vibrant, upright plant that looked like it could jump out of its container, even though it was indoors. I thought if that plant can exhibit so much energy, so can I.

A second experience of Qi happened at the start of the author's presentation. He began by chanting a prayer or invocation using guttural Tibetan sounds. The chanting seemed to fill the room so that the space literally vibrated. It was a demonstration of Qi as sound.

A key statement from the evening--learning what my experience of teachings are will help me discover my own inner teacher, my self as the experience of what is being taught.

What Really Brought me to Qigong

After looking back through my journals, I see that I was having stress-related problems early in 2004. In April, I had noted some of the difficulties I was experiencing with vocalization and focus. So, months before I turned 65 in August, I was already noticing issues.

Before August and the cascade of job and moving changes, I had signed up for a weekend intensive, the Landmark Forum. I had taken the est training back in the 70's and Landmark honored one of est's old agreements to give a discount for graduates. I thought it was a perfect time for me to stop, sit for a while, and sort through what I was doing and experiencing.

I completed the Forum and signed up for the Advanced Weekend. In the Forum, I had sat with the cognitive (inability to clearly vocalize what I was thinking) and physical (upper body weakness, tingling in extremities, neck and back tightness) disturbances, observing them and trying to link them back to triggers or events. I came out of the Forum in a weird state of being. I carried that condition into the Advanced course, which only compounded the problems. What I didn't need was another intense (and it was intense) weekend, sitting in a chair, with my body locked in place and trying to deal with all of the personal issues that were arising.

I came out of the Advanced course numb and incoherent (at least to myself) with all of the mental and physical symptoms that I had been noticing amplified. Then to add to the pot, my job went away, I got the 60-day notice to vacate my rental house, I turned 65, and I had to deal with setting up a DBA, communicating with Medicare, Social Security, and finding a supplemental insurance plan.

While in the midst of this whirlwind of changes, reactions, inactions and turmoil, I fortunately had the support of a good friend, L, and that I bumped into a chiropractor/friend of mine. The chiropractor/friend looked at me and said that I needed to get to his offices ASAP. He could see the stress and imbalances, and that I needed intervention.

I got to his offices and after an exam and workup, he put me on an aggressive schedule of adjustments, body work, supplements (lots of vitamin B), yoga, and healing. L and I had been dancing regularly throughout the year. I was taking classes and going to weekend dances. I was reading voraciously. Dance movement combined with yoga gave me a somatic anchor for all the other symptoms I was having. I was seeing a therapist fairly regularly. I was sleeping a lot (when I wasn't packing to move).

The end of the 2004 year was consumed with coping, sleeping, getting treatments, moving, dancing, yoga, writing in my journal, and dealing with a host of physical and mental changes.

My various symptoms came and went as I noticed things that kept manifesting. For example, along with the loss of upper body strength (which was helped by yoga, but not reversed), I seemed to have lost some small motor control in my right arm/hand. I was having trouble signing my name legibly. I made an appointment to see my doctor and after an exam and full blood workup, he referred me to a neurologist to be examined for Parkinson's Disease. I spent the two weeks before I could get into the neurologist's office, reading up on PD and related illnesses. It was no fun sitting and imagining what my life was going to be like if I had PD.

Fortunately, the doctor concluded after my examination that I did not have PD. That maybe it was all stress-related. In the meantime, I had started taking some brain supplements and was looking closely at when I did or did not have problems or symptoms. It became obvious that most of my symptoms disappeared when I danced, was doing yoga, went for walks, was reading, if I rested, and so on.

I was (as you can see from my postings both here and on my other blogs) not having problems writing using a computer. My finger and brain connections seem to be fine.

Anyway, all of this gives some of the background of what has brought me to Qigong. Recently, I had another incident where I was feeling quite depressed--to the point that two people asked me if I had had a stroke. I went to the doctor's as a precaution, but was told no way on the stroke issue. I came away thinking that movement and breathing (dance, yoga, walking, the work with the chiropractor, etc.) all seem to have stabilizing or healing effects on my collection of symptoms. I was looking through the yoga schedule to see if there were other yoga classes I could take--and there on the schedule was a class in Qigong. The class listing seemed to leap off of the screen.

I read the instructor's biography and got the feeling that this was exactly what I needed to help me heal and restore. I did some surfing on the Web and found lots of information regarding the practice. I've read several books on the practice (Jahnke, The Healing Power of Qi--a great book on the topic--see links).

I've taken a couple of the classes so far and have signed up for an 8-week series. I'm already convinced that this practice will be of benefit. I'm doing exercises when I awake and before I go to bed. I've started this blog.

I feel like I've had a break or stagnation of the energy flows in my being. For most of my life, until recently, I've been healthy and energetic. The past year or so has been difficult as I encountered breakdowns and limitations. I've radically altered my diet (I'll go into that another time) and have lost around 30 pounds since August of last year.

I'll report back on what I encounter as I continue with Qigong classes and trainings. Body, breath and mind--Earth, HeartMind, Heaven. One more step along the path of 1,000 miles.

What Brought Me to Qigong

To understand what brought me to Qigong and its promise of creating health, I have to go back to August of last year, 2004.

At that time, I turned 65, got notice that I had to move out of a house that I'd rented for 14 years, and lost my contract job at a toy company. I had been working at the toy company for about a year and a half. During that time, I had helped create five or six toys that made it to the shelf.

The job was 1.5 hours of commute time in each direction, by car, train and bus. Counting meals, bathing, dressing, commuting and so on, days were 12 to 14 hours of movement and motion, work and focus. Until I stopped working in August, I didn't realize how tired I was, how stressed, anxious and depleted.

I had glimpses of problems while I was still working. I found myself unable to follow conversations completely, buzzing out while I was working on tasks, and not being able to vocalize what I was thinking, coherently.

When worked stopped, I started sleeping a lot. I slept virtually around the clock for weeks.

In the meantime, I got a 60-day notice that I would have to move. I began to sort through the 14-year accumulation of debris that filled the house and garage. I knew I was going to have to move into a much smaller space and would need to sell, dump or give away much of what I owned--or what owned me. I proceeded with random lethargy. I spent one month not doing much more than sorting and resorting piles of things.

But, I just realized that I skipped over some additional triggering events. I also got things out of sequence, out of time--a normal thing for me to do. I have to go back and read my journal entries for those times and sort out the story. I just took a quick peak through my 2004 notes and can see I was having problems as early as April.

So, I'll do some research on myself. I'll untangle the history and come back to describing what led me to start doing Qigong. I need to get my story straight so I'm clear about what's happened and can be clear about where I'm going.

Qigong

Qigong is pronounced Chi Kung. I have begun the journey. The journey of a thousand miles starts from beneath my feet. Where this journey will take me will be discovered--in time and in practice.

I will keep this journal of the journey and report as faithfully as I can on where I go and what I do. I will share what I learn and what I discover because I sense that what I will experience may be of value to others.

I take the first steps. I have much to learn. May the Qi (Chi) guide me.